Wednesday, January 14, 2015

January 15th

Here I sit on the year anniversary of baby #2 date. 
Losing a baby so early along after losing a baby so far along has been a very odd thing for me. I have always valued life from conception but this baby felt and still feels a lot less real to me. In fact many times I look at the calendar and say "why is the 15th marked?" Then I read why it's marked and feel guilty again. I rarely think about this baby, about how, if he/she had been born it would be only 5 months old... My life would be vastly different. And yet this might be the first time I've actually thought of it. 
I thought I'd take a moment to write about and remember baby #2. 
Baby, you shaped me in ways I probably don't even realize. I wish I could have known you more. Missing you, tonight. Xo 

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