Emotion waves

Tonight, driving home, we heard Ember's song. The song husband and I sang to her moments before the nurse came in to take her body away from us forever. It's a very special moment to me and husband and I keep that song to ourselves. 

We both started singing with the song tonight, neither of us mentioning her but both knowing what the other was thinking. 

I started sobbing as the words came out, thinking about that feeling. Knowing the nurse was coming to take away our baby's body to lay her body down somewhere cold and sterile. Where we could never see her or touch her again (here on this earth). Horrible. I'll just say it how it was. Horrible. 

Even though we made the choice of when we gave her body up how could we ever be ready for it? 

The nurse was sweet and kind. I asked that I could leave her in her arms because how could I leave her alone on that stupid hospital baby cart bed thing? 

As quickly as the tears came tonight they left and I was fine (until I started blogging, then they started again). 

Grieving is a strange storm to be in.