As the day comes to a close emotions start coming more to the surface. This morning I shed a few tears thinking about how there would be no traditional first cake free for all... No cake with the birthday girl pictures and no happy birthday songs. I just couldn't bring myself to allow happy birthday to be sing today.
The rest of the day was tear free until now.
I look back, I look forward and I'm not sure what I'm feeling.
I think I set standards in my head that one year was my allotted time. Now it's time to use my experience and heart break to minister to others. I pray I can use my loss to reach people that can't be reached by others. So now it's time to start taking steps towards that. I hope I'm strong enough.
If I could send a message to Ember it would go something like this.
Baby Ember,
I hope in heaven there's some sort of entrance to heaven celebration. 1 year there, eternity to go!
I sure do wish we could have celebrated your life here with us, although that's mighty selfish of me.
I hope you know how loved you are/would have been here with all of us.
There's no way we will ever forget you. Thank you for fighting so hard to stay with me the 7 months your little body could manage. Can't wait to meet you!
Love you to the moon,
Your Mama
No comments:
Post a Comment